The Olympic Torch

My dear and declining readership, if there’s one thing that annoys me, then there are a million. But if there is one thing that really annoys me, it’s the symbolic, things that have no real effect on people lives but are treated as if they were the word of god itself. I should declare at this point that I have a slight weakness for early Celtic symbols but I have it under control.

That being said, the latest golden calf has to be the Olympic flame or torch or whatever you want to call it. If I hear another word about this over sized bic lighter I am going to take hostages and issue demands.

I have made an appeal on another website to the ordinary people north and south to be their authentic selves and undertake the following actions:

1. to run alongside the torch and light their fag off it
2. to nick the torch and melt it down to make counterfeit pound coins

When arrested and faced with the faux outrage of the media, the judiciary and the herd you can make the following points:

1. What has Prometheus done for us lately?
2. The Olympic flame relay system was devised in 1936 for the Berlin Olympics organised by Joseph Goebbels and you are a committed anti-fascist.
3. Excessive symbolism is the last refuge of a declining civilisation (see Apocolypto 2006 Mel Gibson for further clarification).
4. How much is this costing and how would we even find out?

Intriguing questions arise including:

If the Olympic flame met an Orange March on a traditional route, which one would have to give way?

If the Olympic flame was combined with The Queen’s Jubilee celebrations, would it be sufficient to cause Nicholas Witchell to faint?

“Yes, Yes” I hear you say “but is there a serious point here?”

Well, I believe there is. In their hearts, no one gives a flying expletive for this torch, yet the media have convinced them to come out of their homes in their thousands, in much larger numbers that could have been expected to protest A&E closures for example. This is the same media that convinced people to mourn a princess that they did not know, and a pope who did not act in their interests, and who caused people to believe that Mother Theresa was a living saint ( see Christopher Hitchens for further clarification). Could the gullible and the easily led be similarly exhorted to turn on a vilified section of society,for example false benefits claimants or illegal immigrants? I believe they could and that is the real danger here. In this as in all things, do not believe the hype!

This should act as a warning for all of us, to critically examine media outputs and ourselves to uncover false orthodoxies and received wisdom. It’s not so much that they make an argument that the Olympic torch is important, its more down to repetition and wall to wall coverage. Without the courage of their convictions they simply repeatedly imply importance onto the peripheral. The outrage and concern directed at the protests by dissident groups was not so much about their politics, but the fact that they dared bring some content to this vacuous procession.

Finally kudos to all those who sat this one out and extra marks for those who said “What a load of old b*lls” You are the true heroes, but please resist the urge to rub oil on your bodies and walk around naked in the Greek style.


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